This year at Hyde-Bath, Certificate declarations outnumber Diploma declarations. This is typical and especially true with classes with a high number of tw0-year students (i.e., students who entered as juniors). Many Hyde old-timers will say, “It takes three years to really get this place.” While I don’t necessarily agree, I certainly understand the sentiment. In any case, here is the first of two installments of Certificate declarations.
I still believe there are a lot of things I need to work on. I need to push my peers and friends and not be scared of how they will react or think about me. Courage is also something I have been working on, but still need to apply in more areas of my life. Sometimes I can let little things disturb me, hold them in, and release my anger in an unproductive way, such as sarcasm and say hurtful things I do not mean.
As you all know, I struggle. But one thing you can say about my struggles is that they are honest, open, and with gusto. What I mean is, I have so much trouble because I question every step. I never walk blindly, or accept with understanding, which I know makes a lot of people angry. But I am working very very hard to come to a better understanding of myself and even when I try to tell myself I’ve given up, give it a day and I am at it again.
I’m working on taking risks and challenging myself rather than having other friends and faculty challenge me. I know that one thing I struggle with is my confidence in myself and what I do. A commitment to myself is to do something (not decided yet) that I feel I could not accomplish or something that is hard for me.
I feel like I do what I need to do, but my negative attitudes and body language completely takes away from all the leadership I commit to. I can also be a hot head on the sports field which is something I am dealing with now. I am trying to work my way to diploma by using my leadership skills and more of a “happy to do it” attitude.
I feel like I’ve grown a lot such as my attitude towards people and academics, but I still need to take more leadership. I struggle at being a leader because of my lack of confidence and fear that no one will care what I have to say. I’ve taken some steps toward challenging myself such as being dance captain and taking on the role as foreman for dinner jobs during winter season.
I think there are steps in my personal life that I need to take in order to feel good about putting myself at Diploma. I think I have a lot of self doubt and confidence issues that I need to face head on instead of avoiding them….. I also struggle with having a voice and believing in what I say. I judge too much of what I say off of what cues I get from others, and I don’t say anything that would be too much different than the other people’s opinoins around me.
Onward, Malcolm Gauld