A View of Hyde School, Part II

Family Education at Hyde School

Built into the educational philosophy and reflected in the required family commitment at Hyde is the concept that the family is a system.  Each member of the family creates and is impacted by the system’s dynamics.  Further, the family system, as it pertains to the Hyde philosophy, is multigenerational.  Parents will likely need to examine their relationship with their own parents to effect change in their current family dynamics.  While recognizing that the students and parent(s) are members of a family, the primary emphasis at Hyde is for each individual to strive to understand his or her position in that system, and then to pursue growth by altering his or her unproductive behavior, attitudes, roles, or beliefs.  Experience has demonstrated over the years that a student’s success and growth is linked to the parent’s growth.  Students who experience the most success at Hyde are those whose parents learn to focus on their own growth rather than that of their son or daughter.

Strengths Typical of Successful Hyde Families

Desire to interact and grow within one’s family

Families that do well at Hyde School are willing to examine how the family relationships are promoting and hindering the individual growth of family members.  These families tend to see the need for change in the dynamic as well as the potential for growth that will result from those changes.  The family is considered a foundation for all members, not just the student.  Families that do well generally have enough stability to manage the anxiety that comes from honest self-examination.

Parent’s ability and willingness to detach emotionally from their children

Students at Hyde School – as with all adolescents – are working on the process of separating and individualizing from their parents.  Over the years, experience has shown that parents have an important role, if not a larger role, in this process.  The families of Hyde students who do well are the ones that a greater ability to nurture their children’s individualization.  This process is often accelerated at Hyde because the student is living away from home and Hyde intentionally challenges the student in a myriad of ways.  To be a successful Hyde student means to face continual challenges, which can translate into increased anxiety and more attempts to enlist the help of one’s parents.  Since Hyde’s challenges are more prevalent compared to other settings, parents at Hyde have more opportunities to learn how to let go of their children.

Parents’ ability to and willingness to actively pursue their own growth

The process of self-discovery that parents experience is similar to the process student’s experience.  Parents need many of the same strengths as the students.  For many parents, using those strengths to pursue their own individual growth often means confronting issues arising from their own upbringings.  This also means the area of growth that parents may need to explore is not necessarily directly connected to the family or to their own student enrolled at Hyde.  Being able to accept that individual growth in any area tends to strengthen and promote growth in the family as a whole.